Thursday, April 26, 2007

A Latte With A Shot of Schadenfraude

It’s noonish and the Giant Coffee Monolith store is empty save for me and three employees. The snappish young manager girl scolds a fellow employee in a less than dignified manner. Sure, the boy was goofing off but the place was empty and no one deserves to be belittled. The red-faced boy skulked off to the task she had assigned him. As she unpacked a box of CDs, I began to realize that she was one of ‘those’ people. She was prickly…borderline nasty about everything. She snottily critiqued the CDs in the box to the extremely young barista who was mixing my melon-macha latte.
“Oh look,” snotty mcgripsalot snotted snottily, “it’s another Michael Buble,” and rolled her eyes. Except, she didn’t pronounce his name ‘Boo-Blay’ as is correct but rather ‘Bubble’. I can't help but smirk.
Young Barista cooed, ‘ooo, I love Michael Buble.’ (pronounced correctly)
Snotty huffed embarassedly, ‘is that how you say it? I’ve never even heard of the guy’ chuckling disengeniously.
Now, I'm enjoying this a little too much. It was just too fun to see that mix of anger and embarrassment, not unlike the look on Goofing off boy's face.
Now, Young Barista was smart enough to realize she’d made a tactical error. She began asking questions about the correct amounts of milk, the syrup to powder ratio of my drink order. She did this, I believe, to restore the balance of power and not incur the wrath of Snotty.
After allowing Snotty to laugh and ask her if she’d ever made a latte before, Young Barista began extolling the virtues of Michael Buble. All was restored to order.
Two more unnecessary employees entered the building and inquired as the the contents of the box that Snotty was digging into.
Snotty hautily explained that she was unpacking a rack of Michael BOO-BLAY CDs, holding each syllable for an unnecessarily long time. She then smiled triumphantly at Young Barista as though it were she who had been right all along.
“Oh, I love that guy, “ the unnecessary co-worker chimed.


mohairpink said...

How funny. You definitely need to make an anon. complaint against her because she sounds NASTEE!

Desirée said...

She sure does!!!made me think of the wicked witch from the wizzard of oz!xoxo d

artandghosts said...

i love how you translated this!

i want the second installment:)
BOOBLAY, hehe!